something to LOVE for

The other night, while I was journaling, I had this realization. This realization that even though I was trying to sit down with my Bible every day, it was becoming an act out of habit and not out of praise. I was just going through the motions, trying to make it. How many of us read our Bible or talk to God, just out of a force of habit? How many of us just go through the motions? (You can't see it, but I'm being a mix of the kid in school who is practically jumping out of his seat, waving his hand, and the kid who is shyly answering a question for the first time and very slowly, almost shamefully raising his hand.)

And then, out of nowhere, that song by Matthew West popped into my head. So, I dropped what I was doing, picked up my computer and bought the song on iTunes. And then I did a quick Google search for the lyrics of that song so that I could read along while I listened.

This might hurt

It's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change

I don't care

If I break

At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just ok

Is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

No regrets

Not this time

I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let your love

Make me whole

I think I'm finally feeling something

'Cause just ok

Is not enough

Help me fight through the nothingness of this life!

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day

Without your all-consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking

What if I had given everything

Instead of going through the motions?

(All of these lyrics are the property of Matthew West)

I think I probably listened to this song 10 times that night. And I realized that I haven't been feeling anything. I'm stuck in a rut of apathy, and I'm just going through the motions. Is there anyone else that feels like that?

Will you guys just pray for me, and for anyone else that you know or that you think might be going through this same thing? I just know that God wants infinitely more than people only seeking Him and His word just out of habit. Don't get me wrong, it's about the best habit you could have.... but I know He wants more than that. And more importantly, He deserves more. He created this beautiful, gorgeous, amazing place for us to live. He loves us constantly, and He will never stop. But to his dismay, He sat and watched people turn away from Him every single second of every single day. He wept over them, begging them to turn back to Him, because He knew that He could give them everything they could ever need. But they ignored Him. So he sent his son down to them, to try and make them realize. But they ignored His son too. So His son took all the blame. He saw that He couldn't stop people from sinning, so He took all of the blame. He died the single worst way that anyone could die. It was a long and painful death that Jesus, a man who had lived without any sins, didn't deserve even in the slightest. But He did it. For them.

Now, reread the last paragraph. But instead of reading "them", read "us". Or even harder, read "me".

God deserves our best. As we continue to learn how to be patient, let's not go through the motions. Let's take risks. Let's let God change us radically, from the person we are to the person He wants. He deserves it.