Jumbled.

So, I just realized that recently, this blog has been a lot about what God is doing in my life, and less about His word. I plan on changing that very soon-- but right now, I feel like I should (once again) update you guys about the craziness of my life with Jesus.

First of all, I would like to make a recommendation. My dear friend, Katherine, is one of the most spiritually connected and amazing people that I know. She has some of the most amazing thoughts and ideas too, which she shares on her blog, Growing Rainbows. I highly encourage that you check it out-- she is very connected with God, and has some wonderful insights.


Over this past weekend, I was fortunate enough to be included in the Work Crew for the Episcopal Diocese of Colorado's annual fall youth retreat, Genesis. It was a really interesting and different experience from all the other Genesis weekends I've been on before, when I had absolutely NO idea how much work went into running the dining hall, just to ensure everyone got a fresh, hot meal. I feel like over the weekend, I learned another definition of having a servant's heart, and devoting yourself to doing God's work for God's people. And let me tell you, folks, I was exhausted. Between serving, bussing and cleaning the whole dining room, going to the hot tub both nights felt way more than welcome. I was also lucky enough to get to bond with some of my peers from the youth group, and really get to know them on a different level. I also got the chance to see my friend John, who I hadn't seen in almost a year... so that was really nice as well. John is the kind of friend who you can tell anything, and he will never look at you any differently for it. So the fact that I had the chance to confide in him again was really, really awesome.

But there was a whole 'nother side to this past weekend entirely. A lot of things were happening in my brain on Friday night alone, and in talking with a few of my really close friends over the weekend, my thoughts started to get more and more jumbled, because I feel like God was bringing up some things that I had let slip out of my radar. Two of these things include my relationship with my boyfriend and my future as a woman of God. Examining the latter, I started to feel as though this Music Education thing that God has me doing right now may be a very temporary thing, or something that I do to learn how to communicate well with and relate to other people, but not something that I will do for 30+ years, like my wonderful father has. I felt like He was really bringing back up the possibility of becoming a church planter, or possibly a worship leader-- or maybe even both (although, if He was, it was in a very roundabout way).

Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely glorify God in the fact that I was able to take a long-needed weekend off, away from everything that might keep my mind occupied. I just have a lot to think an pray about.... which is kind of why I am writing this all down here. I would really REALLY appreciate if you guys could pray for me. Pray that God gives me clarity, and that He would light his path for me, so that I could see enough to even just take my next step. I feel like sometimes,  God puts streetlights on his roads for us that aren't always close enough together for their lights to overlap-- so sometimes, you can see where you are, and you can see a little bit of what's coming up down the road, but the path that it takes to get to that place ahead of you is a little unsure. It's there, alright, and it's all paved and ready for you to travel down it, that stretch just isn't as lit as some of the rest of the road is. And I guess I'm just in between streetlights right now.

Well, that's my piece for now. May God bless you and keep you safe and out of harm's way!

OH! And don't forget to stop and admire the beauty of the fall. This is my favorite time of year, because God's just up there with a paintbrush decorating His earth with the most beautiful and vibrant colors He can find. :)

Living day to day.

Hi, friends.

I know, I've been that person. I started a blog, and I was really good about posting for about a month-- and then I came to school and it seems like I forgot all about it. And the truth is, that's only halfway true. I forget about it half of the time, and the other half of the time, I think "I should write about this on my blog!" and then the craziness of my life takes over and I don't have time to follow through with my thoughts.

But here's the good news: even though I haven't been writing about it, God is still doing wonderful things in my life. And the thing is, I don't even deserve any of them. I find it really hard to have time to sit down with my Bible and set aside time every day to spend solely on bettering my relationship with Him. That's not to say that I'm not constantly offering little prayers up to Him. That's actually one of my favorite habits-- if there's an ambulace, I say a little prayer; if someone seems unhappy, I say a little prayer for them. And I'm constantly praying about my own life and circumstances. And yet I can't find any time to sit and just talk to God and read His word and worship Him.... but I guess that's my problem. (Pray for me?)

Back to God's undeserved, perfect, amazing graciousness.

Well, first and foremost, I'm secure financially. I always have just enough money to cover groceries and my compassion child.. .and now that I'm getting paychecks from the school, I know I'll have enough to start tithing again. And that in itself is a blessing. Over the course of a couple of weeks, God has really reassured me that He will always provide for me-- I just have to give Him the chance to.

Also, there's this boy. His name is Peter. And he is incredible. He is a wonderful, Christian guy-- and he has a heart of gold. Pete would do anything for anyone of his friends, anytime. He is truly kind and generous-- not to mention he just treats me so well. I trust him so incredibly much, and I get the feeling that it's mututal. I truly believe that God brought Pete and I together to show each of us how special we really are-- to each other and to Him. And all that I can ask of you, friends, is that you pray for our relationship. Pray that we can grow closer to God, and pray that from that closeness to God, we would grow closer to each other.

And last-- but certainly not least-- God had blessed my life. The passion and ambition that I had for performing (that God showed me was not in His plan) has been replaced tenfold with a passion for the new direction that God has sent me in-- to pursue Music Education. Even though I run myself thin every single day because I'm so busy with my major, I get more excited about the thought of teaching every day. God has really put me in a place where I will be able to teach and affect His people more so than I ever could as a performer-- and in a place that I can easily take summers to go and do His work around the world. Also, I'm in a place where I'm completely comfortable with the idea of moving to a different country to do God's work for an extended time (maybe even a year or two).

So although I may not be as consistent as I would like in my updates about God's moving and flowing in my life, it is undoubtedly happening-- and in a HUGE way.





Also, I would like to thank all of you that care enough to read my blog. I love that you keep checking back, too-- even though I'm so incredibly sporadic about when I post. I love you all, even if we haven't met in real life. I appreciate that you care about your sister in Christ, and I encourage you to email me whenever, about anything. Prayer requests? Email me. Need someone to listen? Email me. Want to share an important triumph? Email me. I will always be there to pray for you or rejoice with you. And I mean that. I love you all.